FAQÂ Â RELATIONSHIP CHECKUP
WHAT IS THE GOTTMAN RELATIONSHIP CHECKUP?
The Gottman Relationship Checkup is an online assessment tool created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman in collaboration with The Gottman Institute in Seattle, Washington.
​This tool streamlines the relationship assessment process for your therapist, providing personalized, clinical feedback plus specific recommendations for treatment based on your answers.
The assessment is composed of 480 questions in 5 categories: Friendship and Intimacy, The Safety Scales, The Conflict Scales, The Shared Meaning System, and Individual Areas of Concern. Question topics include friendship, intimacy, conflict, finances, children, trust, commitment, drug and alcohol screenings, and individual issues that can put a relationship at risk.
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Where do the questions on the assessment come from? How do we know that answering these questions can actually help our relationship?
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Dr. John Gottman is a clinical psychologist who has completed more than 40 years of research on relationships and couples. Dr. Julie Gottman is a clinical psychologist who has extensive experience in private practice and teaching settings. Together, they created this research-based assessment for couples as a method for learning the strengths and challenges of a relationship and subsequently determining a treatment plan.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO COMPLETE THE ASSESSMENT?
The actual time it takes to complete each questionnaire varies based on individual responses, the complexity of relationship dynamics, and the choice to use optional comment areas to provide additional information about the relationship. However, on average, you can expect it will take between one and two hours to complete the assessment.
IF I DON’T WANT TO TAKE THE TEST ALL AT ONCE, CAN I STOP TAKING IT AND RESUME LATER?
Yes! The pace and timing for completing the assessment is entirely up to you. You can answer the questionnaires all in one sitting or work on them over time. If you choose to take a break, simply log out of your profile. When you return, the system will remember where you left off and will resume at that point.
CAN MY PARTNER AND I SEE ONE ANOTHER’S ANSWERS WHILE I AM TAKING THE TEST?
No. Before you start the assessment, you will each create a separate online profile with a unique login and password. Neither of you can access the other’s information at any time, and we encourage you not to share your login information with your partner in order to preserve the integrity and effectiveness of the questionnaire.
WHILE TAKING THE ASSESSMENT, DO I HAVE TO ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS OR CAN I SKIP THE ONES I DON’T WANT TO ANSWER?
For therapy to be successful, it is important that your clinician understands all of the issues occurring in the relationship. With this in mind, it is not possible to skip questions or to shorten the assessment. However, many questions have optional comment areas intended for clarification or for further explanation of your responses. These can be used as a way to explain your thoughts about specific questions - positive or negative - and to add any important details you would like your clinician to have about a particular question, topic, or concern.
WILL I GET A COPY OF MY RESULTS?
The scores and analysis are for your clinician’s use and will not be given to you because the results are interpreted in the context of all the other information obtained about you during the assessment process. This includes joint and individual interviews and your clinician’s observations. The results of the questionnaires do not stand alone. A second reason is that each of you will set up a private login account so you can feel free to answer the questions openly and honestly without concern about what your partner may think about your answers. Your clinician will discuss the results of the entire assessment with you and suggest a treatment plan for improving and strengthening your relationship.
HOW DO I ACCESS THE GOTTMAN RELATIONSHIP CHECKUP?
A clinician must invite you.
I WANT TO USE THE GOTTMAN RELATIONSHIP CHECKUP TO ASSESS MY RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT GOING TO A CLINICIAN. CAN I DO THIS?
No. The Gottman Relationship Checkup is a tool designed for use by clinicians in a professional setting with couples.
I’M NOT CURRENTLY SEEING A CLINICIAN. WHERE CAN I FIND ONE?
​To search for a clinician trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy near you, please visit the Gottman Referral page: https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/therapists/mary-rivera
MARRIAGE & COUPLES COUNSELING
The Full Story
You feel like you’ve lost a sense of yourself along the way, loneliness is building with flashes of exhaustion, rejection, resentment or, worse, indifference. Too much time has passed with little intimacy and connection. Even the predictors of Divorce –The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (i.e., criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness)–now engraved throughout your relationship. It feels like you’re roommates who communicate on a need basis.
Bottom line: Your relationship is stressed. Perhaps your head is full of so many different thoughts after the discovery of an affair, or struggles have emerged from blending families. Regardless, you’re fighting more and loving less. You’re at a loss as to what to do.
Your relationship, for it to thrive, You in need of a Relationship Makeover.. Let’s Supercharge this new beginning by using the latest science on intimate partnerships and what differentiates the disasters from the masters.
MY STYLE
I bring a realness to sessions and ensure that the voice of the relationship is heard.
Consequently, I take a unique approach to couples work. Unlike many couples counselors who orchestrate sessions as if doing individual therapy with two people in the room, which often contributes to failed treatment, I structure sessions based on solid assessment data. You can trust that your vital issues will be addressed and quick! I want to help you get to where you want to go as fast as possible.
The 3-Phases
I use the Gottman Method to help my couples, which includes three phases.
The First Phase is the assessment, which includes a 90-minute initial meeting with both partners, and a separate 45-minute session with each partner (90-minutes).
The Second Phase is a 90-minute feedback session.
The Third Phase focuses on establishing Relationship. With focus, I zone in on what matters most so that you can get on with your happy lives!
You and your partner will receive and invitation to complete an online assessment-the Gottman Relationship CHECKUP-your answers will be compared to the Masters and Disasters of Relationships. This is like a physical exam of your relationship that provides vital information about what’s working and what’s not working. This ensures efficiency in getting you were you want to go. No time is wasted!!